Pass the mic

You can “start over” any day of the week or any week during the year, but there’s something about those first few that make you want to renew the vows you’ve made to yourself. Even more so for me because it truly is a rebirth. No really... my birthday is 12/31. So every year, starting January 1st, I feel like I’m being pushed out of the womb. Ok, not the prettiest picture,but you get me. 

Before I move on to the next, I want to know how I can be better and I want the people I spend most of my time with, to tell me.

Last week, Marley called a family meeting to discuss, of all things, our emergency escape plan. I thought “she’s either being overly dramatic or her kidtuition is kicking in.” Regardless, I was In full support because it’s smart to have a plan.  Well that and I had my own ulterior motives.  I figured it’d be the perfect time to talk, as a family, about how we could make 2019 an amazing year.  So right after she declared that chips be added to the list of non perishables, I snuck in my proposal. Let’s pass the mic and tell each other how he/she could improve and continue to bring value to our family unit.  

2018 was a rough year and all of our emotions were out of wack. We yelled, cried and may have kicked a door a time or two. It was evident that it had taken a toll on all of us. Although we said things we didn’t mean and suffered from major attitude problems, I’m a true believer that there is always room for growth. But in order to grow you need to be aware of your blind spots or you’ll make the same mistakes. 

So, we all, reluctantly, sat on the couch and prepared ourselves to listen to some...constructive feedback. 

First we had to set on the ground rules:

1. Show some respect. Share your criticisms but don’t be mean.

2. Be open and receptive to the good, bad or ugly. 

3. Really listen. Don’t just hear it. 

4. Perception is reality. Even if you don’t agree, know that the energy you give off may be seen as negative to others. I 

5. Just one! We’re not here to drag anyone through the mud.

Because it was my idea, I opted to be the first target. I told the girls that they could speak freely, without consequence, as long as they followed the rules. I held my breath as they began. Here’s what I learned: I yell too much, I can be  moody, I need to stop being so defensive and “I love you very much mommy.” I wasn’t offended by anything that was said about me but it didn’t hurt that Mac had no idea what was going on. We let her go last each time. There needed to be a balance between the tear down and build up. 

We all walked away a little wiser and more aware. There were no tears, which in my book screamed success. We vowed to have a “pass the mic” session once a month. Wish us luck!

Happy New Year! Hope its a good on. (Don’t judge. I’m giving myself a 3 month grace period. After March 1st I’m saying Happy 2nd quarter).