Unconditional love is a wonderful thing. Everyone should experience it.
June 30, 2016
In my younger years, the relationship with my father was typical. I was daddy's little girl. He disciplined or pretended to and he loved us. He didn't say it much, but we knew that he didn't get up at 4AM every morning for fun. He worked hard to make our lives better than his was. His parents died when he was very young and he was left an orphan but he was a survivor and grew to be an amazing human.
When my mom died, we grew apart. He wasn't her and I resented him for it. He didn't help pick out my prom dress, didn't give college advice and was never excited about the girly things. He was lacking in areas where mom would have been sufficient. He didn't know how to deal with me and I just didn't want to deal with him. We bumped heads...A LOT. It was a very sad time. It didn't help that my brother and I spent most days at each other's throats. Poor dad was always stuck in the middle. He didn't have to put up with our shit. He should have thrown in the towel. My brother was 23 and I was almost 18. I wouldn't have been shocked if he'd said "you both are pains in my ass. Fend for yourselves." He could have retired early and gone back home to Haiti but instead, he covered the mortgage, paid all of the bills including both our educations, all while having to deal with our crappy attitudes. The fact that he stayed and put up with us is something that I will be forever grateful for.
About a year after I got married, he moved back in with me. They always say girls take care of their parents when they get older, but we took care of each other. As I grew, our relationship changed. Yes, we'd always be father and daughter but he became my best friend. He was my rock and always kept me grounded. He was my confidant. I shared everything. If someone or something was pissing me off he knew. He talked me down from many a ledge. He shared his feelings and I expressed mine. He was the one person who knew everything and never judged. I can honestly say that I know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally. There was nothing I could do that would make him turn his back on me. We were always honest with one another, no matter the consequence.
My brother and I were in the room when he took his last breath. Our eyes locked and in that brief moment, with no words spoken. I stared at my dad and knew exactly where I stood with my him and had no doubt that he felt the same.
Me: Doctor, is my father dying?
Doctor: Just talk to him.
Me: I have nothing to say. I've said it all over the years. He knows exactly how I
feel and I know how he feels.
Today marks 6 years since my father died. As I listen to Tupac's Life Goes On and Bone Thugs In Harmony's See You At The Crossroads, I can't help but think about Dad aka Pops aka Dodo aka Gabe aka Gabo aka Dr. Pinkass aka Dr. Galaxy. He would have enjoyed spoiling his granddaughters and he would have loved them as unconditionally as he loved me.